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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28997190">satisfied</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyuniverse/pseuds/kyuniverse'>kyuniverse</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Boyz (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ballroom Dancing, Character Study, Difficult Decisions, Love Triangles, M/M, Making Out, Well I tried, but it depends lol, i hope this made at least one person sad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:48:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,860</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28997190</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyuniverse/pseuds/kyuniverse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You know, you don't seem like the type of person who is happy with his life." The blonde leans into the table, inching his face closer to Jaehyun's. "You strike me as someone who has never been satisfied."</p><p>Jaehyun can only blink at the proximity. "I don't understand what you mean."</p><p> </p><p>  <i>Alternatively,</i></p><p> </p><p>Chanhee is a disgrace, Juyeon is helpless and Jaehyun, an unsatisfied man, has to choose between his brother's happiness or his own.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Chanhee | New/Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae, Choi Chanhee | New/Lee Juyeon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>satisfied</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hey there! this au may be familiar to you because i posted this last christmas, though i removed it after 2-3 days because i wasn't satisfied (ironic) with it. but now i'm kinda on good terms with this fic so i'm posting it again!</p><p>inspired by the song "satisfied" from hamilton (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTVCcDcKMCM">listen to it here!</a>). i recommend giving it a listen and reading the lyrics!</p><p>let me know what you think about this on my twitter (<a href="twitter.com/nyuthings">nyuthings</a>)!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jaehyun, he discovers early in his life, is not one to be easily satisfied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dashing, ravishing, charming. Lee Jaehyun is the epitome of the perfect man you read in books and see in movies, the person every guy loathes and every girl dreams to be with. He is the eldest son of the most respected politician in town, heir of the richest family. Rank everyone in his age group in terms of looks, knowledge or anything and he will appear in its acme. He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>idolized</span>
  </em>
  <span> by a lot of people, including his younger brother and four sisters, and used by ambitious mothers as an example for their clueless sons.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Growing up, he was always reminded of the expectations weighing on his shoulders. He should be </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he should be </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>; there is no room to make mistakes. He lived his life with the mindset of being the most perfect son any respectable man can ask for. Jaehyun was raised to please and exceed expectations, to make everyone look at him in high regards.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was so caught up in the pressure and the expectations that he had completely forgotten what it is like to actually live.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun, he discovers early in his life, is not one to be easily satisfied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until the Winter’s Ball came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Chanhee. Choi Chanhee." The man in front of him introduces himself, a confident smile plastered on his face. Jaehyun notices how much Chanhee shines despite the sea of people in the dimly-lit ballroom. It's probably because of the blonde hair, but he knows that it's not just that. "It's a pleasure to finally meet someone like you, Jaehyun-ssi."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun chuckles. He takes note of the choker wrapped around Chanhee's neck. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Beautiful.</span>
  </em>
  <span> "You make it sound like I'm an important person. Jaehyun is fine."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright then," Chanhee smiles. "Jaehyun."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For some reason, Jaehyun likes the way his name rolled off Chanhee's lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither side bothers to continue the conservation and silence soon falls. There's a pinch of awkwardness lingering between them and Jaehyun thinks it's only because they just recently met. A minute </span>
  <em>
    <span>recently,</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be specific.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Though tonight is the first time they saw each other personally, the other man's name is not new to Jaehyun anymore. The light-haired man in front of him is infamous amongst the sons and daughters of the town's socialites. Partly because of his charms, mostly because of the fact that he's different from them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Illegitimate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone in the circle knows that Choi Chanhee is the product of a night between one of the council members and his mistress. Something so sinful bore a man that isn't ashamed of his parents and charms his way to get what he wants. The others have told stories of how they discriminated against him because his mother is what they like to pertain as a whore. Yet, Jaehyun was told that Chanhee will only chuckle and remain unbothered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Listening to overexaggerated stories that were manipulated to victimize the teller had Jaehyun doubting just how laid back and confident this Chanhee person is. It just seems impossible. If it were him, Jaehyun would rather kill himself than live his life knowing the town sees him as nothing but a whore's son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aren't you going to dance?" Chanhee looks at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun turns his gaze at the visitors dancing elegantly in the middle of the room, black tuxedos and colorful gowns filling the vintage wooden floor. Jaehyun can see his only brother at the very center, and he smiles. Juyeon is indubitably an attention grabber; the type of person that one can find easily amidst the sea of people even if he's wearing the simplest, dullest clothing. It isn't surprising that Juyeon barely has time to rest from all the dance invitations he gets from the women and some men.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe later." Jaehyun replies. "Father will surely force me to dance soon. Might as well rest first."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other slightly nods. "Must be tough, huh? To be the eldest </span>
  <em>
    <span>legitimate</span>
  </em>
  <span> son of someone like Governor Lee. I'm unable to fathom just how heavy the weights on your shoulders are."</span>
</p><p><span>Jaehyun ignores the faint bitterness </span><span>—</span> <em><span>is it bitterness? He thought Chanhee isn't bitter about it, is he?</span></em> <span>—</span><span> he sensed when Chanhee said the word legitimate.</span></p><p>
  <span>"Burdening." He mutters, picking up the wine glass to take a sip. "Suffocating. Upsetting. Depressing. You get the point."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a momentary silence. Jaehyun was aware how much resentment was laced in his reply, and Chanhee undoubtedly sensed it. He goes back to watching his brother dance with a red haired woman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hears Chanhee reply after a few minutes. "Makes sense."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chanhee clears his throat, only to catch Jaehyun's attention. "Can I be honest right now, Jaehyun?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Go ahead."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know, you don't seem like the type of person who is happy with his life." The blonde leans into the table, inching his face closer to Jaehyun's. "You strike me as someone who has never been satisfied."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun can only blink at the proximity. "I don't understand what you mean."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're a man who has never been satisfied, who's never satisfied, in all aspects. Am I right? All your life, you were too focused on being the type of person everyone was expecting, too busy satisfying the others that you have failed to give yourself your own happiness and satisfaction."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well, if you put it that way...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The music changed, the tune turning even slower as Chanhee cautiously offers his hand in front of Jaehyun. His breath hitches. "You're just like me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that so?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chanhee smiles. "I've never been satisfied too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun doesn't know what the other meant with his words but somehow, hidden at the farthest corner of the venue's hallway behind the thick curtains, he found out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When their lips crashed, kiss soft and sweet, Jaehyun felt satisfied for the first time in his life.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You danced with Mr. Choi's illegitimate son back in the ball, Jaehyun." His father steps inside the dining room where Jaehyun and Juyeon are eating breakfast. "Even left the room with him. What were you thinking?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh. So the judging eyes that were digging a hole in Jaehyun's back last night were his father's.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was simply making friends, father. I don't see anything wrong with it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older man sighs. "I'm not stopping you from making friends and expanding connections but son... You do know who Chanhee is, right? There was something different between you both last night, mostly in you. You better stop whatever you are feeling right now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like I said, he was nothing but a friend I met last night." Jaehyun drops the spoon he is holding and politely looks at his father. "I wouldn't dare disobey you and ruin the expectations you have for me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Last night’s ball wasn’t interesting nor entertaining at all. If anything it was bothersome; the way the girls would join the fray in hopes of catching his attention, the way his father will pull him to his other politician friends and boast about how much of a proud father he is, the way his sisters berated him for rejecting their friends’ offers for a dance. If he has an option, Jaehyun would rather forget about all of those.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there is also one thing that Jaehyun knows he will never forget, even if God gave him the chance to erase all of his memories from last night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lee Jaehyun will never forget the first time his eyes landed on Chanhee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun must be naïve if he says that he didn't feel something when he met the blonde man last night. He remembers the way he internally swooned when their eyes met. He remembers the way he felt giddy like a teenager when Chanhee led him to the hallway. He remembers the satisfaction when their lips crashed into each other. Love at first sight, as what the hopeless romantics would call it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was wrong. Not because they were both men. Loving a person of the same gender isn't frowned upon in their town, even though it still erupts whispers from the traditional wives. It was wrong because someone as highly-respected as him shouldn't be romantically involved with someone whose birth caused such a scandal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Handsome, intelligent, charming. Chanhee managed to put into words what Jaehyun's life basically is. Their conversation lasted for only four minutes, probably five, but most of their hour-long interaction last night consists of kisses and gasps of satisfaction. And Jaehyun isn't exaggerating when he says that that was one of the best moments of his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Was what you said true, though?" Juyeon asks the moment their father left the room. "Were you and this Chanhee nothing more than friends?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes. You know I don't get attached to people easily." He replies, to which Juyeon only nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know, I haven't seen this Chanhee everyone is talking about. I'm curious about what he looks like."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun chuckles. That was random. "He's very... charming. I can introduce him to you the next time our paths cross."</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next time their paths crossed, it was during the Choi family’s year-end party.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun easily finds Chanhee in the middle of the crowd. They lock eyes and, taking a look at the clock, realizes that there's still enough time to sneak out and spend time with one another.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger smiles, and Jaehyun </span>
  <em>
    <span>melts</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It's funny how Chanhee makes his knees weak and his heart jump, despite meeting for only the second time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They discreetly slipped among the sea of puffy gowns and tables adorned with flowing silk. Chanhee pulls him into a small garden. Jaehyun has never seen the place despite visiting the Choi household with his father before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why did you bring me here?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chanhee only shrugs. "The party is dull. The music is boring, the dancing is mediocre and the wine isn't satisfying at all."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So you left the room and brought someone you only met once here? My, aren't you a rebel, Choi?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want to spend the night with you and not with the fake people back there. I don't see anything rebellious with that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun holds his breath at the younger's words. He doesn't know what to say nor what to feel. Should he be flattered?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No one goes to this place anymore except me." Chanhee whispers. He drags his fingers on Jaehyun's arm before cradling his face. It feels electrifying to be the focus of Chanhee's attention, to have Chanhee's lips hover over his own, one single push and they'll meet. The blonde sighs before pulling him into a kiss full of love and longing. Jaehyun wasted no time and wrapped the younger's legs around his waist before lifting him against the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chanhee kisses the same way he talks; always so elegant with a hint of seductiveness. Jaehyun can never get enough of his lips. He nibbles and he sucks, eliciting groans of satisfaction from the man in front of him.</span>
</p><p><span>It's magical, and Jaehyun hopes to spend the rest of the night </span><span>—</span> <em><span>probably even the rest of his life, but he'll think about it later</span></em> <span>—</span><span> like this; kissing Chanhee until they're both out of breath. Being in this moment made him realize how deeply he has fallen for the younger. This is not some kind of game he can exit when he gets bored anymore.</span></p><p>
  <span>Gazing at the younger man after they returned from their little escapade, Jaehyun suddenly pulls him before they can even enter the ballroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to get out of here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” Chanhee cocks his head to the side, amused. “Did I hear it right? Lee Jaehyun wants to leave an important ball?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun lets Chanhee's cockiness spread to him. He smirks. “If it means spending more time with you, then why not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. Where are we going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he is near one of the big curtained windows of the ballroom, Jaehyun can see his brother idly standing at the side of the dance floor. An idea forms into his head, one that is about seeking Juyeon and asking him to cover for him while Jaehyun spends the rest of the night with Chanhee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Somewhere far away from this place.” He locks eyes with the blonde once again. “Give me a few minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both return to the party separately with Chanhee immediately heading to the other side of the dance floor, right across Juyeon. Jaehyun heads out for his brother after having a little chat with another one of his father’s connections. He’s brimming with excitement as he walks towards the dark-haired boy, only to halt when he suddenly has a clear glimpse of Juyeon’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows what that look means.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Helpless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That is what Juyeon's state is right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks almost pitiful with how much he's swooning right now. It isn't obvious because of the confidence radiating from him, but Jaehyun knows his brother enough to see past his prim yet charming demeanor. His eyes are helpless while looking at someone across the room. Juyeon is helpless...ly in love. But it isn't anything unusual. His brother tends to get starstruck and fall in love easily, so Jaehyun pays it no mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until he takes a look at the person Juyeon is staring in awe at.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chanhee meets his eyes and the younger subtly smiles. Jaehyun feels his body go numb but still returned the gesture. Juyeon appears beside him and pulls him close, whispering something in his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's Chanhee, right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took Jaehyun a minute before he responded. "Right. That's Choi Chanhee."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And you two are friends, right?" There's a hint of hope in Juyeon's voice, and Jaehyun takes a deep breath to calm himself from cracking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There are no indications confirming that what he thinks is true yet, but he knows that this conversation will lead him to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nods, and Juyeon's face brightens. "Could you maybe bring him over?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun's fists tightened. He smiles. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Forced.</span>
  </em>
  <span> "My, my. Is my little Juyeonie infatuated with someone?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A blush creeps up Juyeon's cheeks, and it makes Jaehyun sick. Like a knife just plunged straight into his heart. "It's not that, hyung... I just find him cute and</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hold on. I'll bring him here." He laughs, but he knows it sounds dry. Juyeon didn't seem to notice it though. He blushes even more before muttering a small thanks to his older brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stop. What am I doing?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His steps feel heavy as he walks across the room, to the beautiful man sipping wine at the table in the corner. If not for the younger’s parents, Chanhee is probably the most perfect human being Jaehyun has ever met. Perhaps it is the reason why he fell in love with the younger the moment he laid his eyes upon him. And probably the reason why Juyeon felt the same thing too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey." Chanhee greets him the moment he arrives at the table. Up close, Jaehyun can notice the blonde's swollen lips that were the results of the kisses they shared earlier. "What brings you here? Is it time for us to go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What brings me here? Am I really going to introduce Chanhee to my brother? To someone who obviously likes him?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun gives him a tight-lipped smile. "Come with me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Together, they walked across the ballroom, earning gazes from the curious gossipers as to why Jaehyun is walking hand in hand with someone like Chanhee. He spots Juyeon subtly looking at them, the red hue on his face evident even from afar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where are you taking me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"To someone that will change your life."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hears Chanhee giggle behind him. "Aren't you talking about yourself? This makes me curious. By all means, lead the way."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chanhee lets out a confused sound the moment they met with Juyeon. Gone was the blush on Jaehyun's brother's face. It was replaced by the dashing smile everyone loved and he always wears. Jaehyun tries his best to smile while Juyeon reaches for Chanhee's hands, bringing his knuckles to his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lee Juyeon." He introduces himself, looking up to meet Chanhee's still confused eyes. "Second son of Governor Lee."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chanhee smiles and retracts his hand, replying with his name. Jaehyun takes note of the way his brother repeated Chanhee's name, slightly smiling as he lets himself get used to the word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shall we dance?"</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's suffocating.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaehyun clears his throat to catch the attention of the pair still staring at each other. "I guess I'll leave you two alone now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He fails to notice the look of disappointment Chanhee threw his way.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>If there is one person that keeps Jaehyun from being a mindless and lifeless pleaser, it would be Juyeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun adores his younger brother a lot, has always kept him closer to his heart than his other siblings or even their father.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There's a strong connection bonding the both of them. Probably because their age gap is only one year, and that they're the only males of Governor Lee's six children.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Juyeon has kept him company for the past years. He was there when Jaehyun couldn't handle the dos and don'ts and breaks down. He was there when Jaehyun got his heart broken, or when he got rewarded for ranking high. They were there for each other, and God only knows how much Jaehyun is willing to sacrifice anything just for his brother to live the rest of his life in happiness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even if it means giving up his own newly-found happiness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Juyeon can't seem to contain the happiness he is feeling as he tells Jaehyun all about last night's events. "He's different, hyung. Like </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span> different. You know me, I put my heart on my sleeve, I fall for people easily but this one... I don't think I can love another person aside from him. He is the one."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So what you are saying is Chanhee's</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Mine.</span>
  </em>
  <span>" The younger grins. "Chanhee... Yeah, this one's mine."</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun is always considered to be intellectually superior to his siblings. He is the oldest, the wittiest, the one who is supposed to know better and serve as his siblings' role model.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like what his father said, what he is feeling is wrong. If he continues to pursue his feelings, who knows what will happen to him? All his life he was trying to please and satisfy everyone around him. Not once did he ever have the time to pursue his happiness, afraid to disappoint and be a failure. He grew up selfless, always putting others before him. He may be pampered all the time but he knew that he'd jump in front of a bullet for his family if it ever came down to that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had never been satisfied, until Chanhee charmed his way into his life. He showed him what it feels like to be loved, to be untroubled, to be satisfied. From the start, Jaehyun knows he's not supposed to fall in love with him. He's a mistress' son, for fuck's sake! He, the person who is expected to follow his father's footsteps in success, can't be in a relationship with a black sheep. In terms of reputation and wealth, they aren't supposed to and shouldn't be together. But even so, Jaehyun keeps dreaming and romanticizing a life where they are together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it's hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chanhee may be considered the product of a sin by the townspeople, but that doesn't mean Jaehyun wants him any less.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't like how you left me alone with your brother two days ago. It felt like you set me up with him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun can feel Chanhee's lips ghost his own, and he sighs before distancing himself. "That's what I'm trying to do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger chuckles. "Why? I don't like him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words have caused Jaehyun to feel relieved. Satisfaction fills him upon knowing that Juyeon's feelings aren't reciprocated. Is he cruel for thinking that way? What kind of brother is he? He is supposed to be the bridge connecting Juyeon and the person he loves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe you should..." He trails off, unsure what to say. "Give him a chance."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Excuse me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My brother clearly likes you. He's a wonderful man. Always so kind and caring. Good looking too. I'm sure you'd find him endearing if you just give him a chance."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>God,</span>
  </em>
  <span> every word that comes out of Jaehyun's throat feels like a rock. How he manages not to stutter or choke is beyond him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you... pushing me away?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No!" Jaehyun's voice sounded more frustrated than he intended. "I'm just</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span> He seems interested in you. Why not give it a try?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why should I? I'm interested in someone else."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun stays silent. It hurts to not be dense. He knows that that 'someone else' is him, judging from the tone of the younger's voice and the look he throws at him. He knows that the both of them are aware that they share the same feelings. And no matter how he tries not to, he feels satisfied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels Chanhee intertwine their fingers, and he shuts his eyes. He heaves a sigh. "This isn't right."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What isn't right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jaehyun didn't answer the question, Chanhee tightened his grip on his hand. "Are you alright?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's happening between us</span>
  <span>— </span>
  <span>it's wrong. I'm not allowed to be with someone like you. My family will be disappointed if I told them I'm in a relationship with... with a</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>With a disgrace." Chanhee finishes the sentence for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It isn't exactly that</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But that's what you are implying." The blonde cuts him off. There's betrayal in his voice, but like the poised person he is, he tries not to show that he is hurt. "It's okay to say that it'll be embarrassing for you to be with me. I'm embarrassed of myself too. I can't imagine the backlash you'll receive if you tell everyone that you love a son of a bitch."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chanhee sighs, heavy and exaggerated. "Lee Jaehyun, the eldest son of the governor who is also the richest person in town, cannot end up with a whoreson. Am I right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun holds his breath. "Yes, but you have to understand that</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Falling in love with you isn't part of the plan, you know." Chanhee mutters under his breath. Despite his heavy breathing, Jaehyun heard his words clearly. "This whole plan of mine... It's supposed to elevate my status and improve my reputation only. Why did it break my heart too?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun watches as the man beside him stands up. "I'm not the type of person who is insistent and likes to pry. I just hope that you're satisfied with that decision of yours."</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You know, hyung. I used to envy you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And why is that?" Jaehyun questions. He looks at his brother seated on the study table, writing a letter to Chanhee. They have been writing letters to each other since a week ago. They’re acting fast in Jaehyun’s opinion and it’s making him worry, but who is he to have any say on his brother’s blossoming love life? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite Juyeon acting cheery every time he receives a letter, Jaehyun doesn't find it in himself to be satisfied. How can he? He wants to be the receiver of Chanhee's little notes. He wants to be the one reading how the man's day went. He wants to be the one writing and making jokes with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wants to be in Juyeon's place so bad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His younger brother chuckles. "Ever since we were little, you always get all of the attention. You know, from being the oldest and stuff. Everyone is more focused on you, willing to give you everything you want just so you can grow up to be the man they wanted."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun stays silent. The special treatment he gets is fairly obvious, but he never knew it made Juyeon jealous. Because that's what he is. Juyeon isn't the type to envy other people. He is selfless and kind-hearted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It was a bit humiliating at first to know that no one is expecting me to be this and that. It made me feel worthless."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I hope you know that is not the case." Jaehyun replies softly. "You aren't worthless, Juyeonie."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know. But back then, I beated myself for not being as great as you. I always hoped that father would see me as someone who he can show off to his colleagues too. That was the only thing I wished for before, but it turns out that being slightly invisible is a blessing."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Juyeon smiles. Ever since he met Chanhee, his brother has been glowing with happiness. Seeing Juyeon happy pleases Jaehyun, until he remembers the reason why his younger brother is like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why is it a blessing?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No one is expecting me to be ideal. There are no restrictions in my life. There is no one to tell me what I should do and who I should fall in love with. I am free to marry someone like Chanhee and father wouldn't bat an eye. He will be disappointed, but I know he'll get over it quickly. Unlike you, hyung."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun watches as his brother seals the envelope, putting it at the side of the table. "You're expected to marry a woman who is from a family as rich and influential as ours. You have to marry someone that the others don't look down on. I don't like not having the freedom to choose who to love, but I'm sure it doesn't bother you, hyung."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If only Juyeon knew how much that fact is bothering Jaehyun. If only Juyeon knew how much his older brother is pining for the same man, how Jaehyun is </span>
  <em>
    <span>dying</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be selfish and steal what was meant to be his in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun knows Juyeon like the back of his hand. He knows that he will never find anyone as kind or caring as him, which makes Jaehyun treasure his brother more. He knows that if he tells the younger the truth, Juyeon will understand and resign. He knows that Chanhee will be his, and Juyeon will tell him it is fine when it is actually not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His brother is very compassionate, and Jaehyun would rather die than hurt the person who helped him get through his life just because he is selfish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I invited Chanhee to dinner later." Juyeon mentions. His eyes show how helplessly in love he is and it makes Jaehyun's stomach churn. "I'll get going, hyung."</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jaehyun, he discovers early in his life, is not one to be easily satisfied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until Chanhee came and set his heart aflame, making him feel thankful for the life he was given. All the kisses and fleeting moments they shared have brought him nothing but joy. For the first time in his life, Jaehyun felt satisfied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he knew better than to fall in love with someone that is not on the same level as him. He knew better than to fall in love with the same person his beloved brother likes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that's where it led him now. In the middle of the room, raising a wine glass as everyone listens intently to his speech.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"From your brother who has always been by your side," He slowly says, locking eyes with Juyeon who is dressed handsomely. His brother is beaming with glee, eyes almost disappearing from how big his smile is. "I hope your wedded life will be filled with nothing but happiness." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Juyeon is completely blinded by love and for once Jaehyun lets himself think that this whole situation is goddamn pathetic. Juyeon marrying Chanhee just two weeks after meeting him is pathetic. Jaehyun still hoping that this marriage is nothing but a horrible dream is pathetic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"To the newlyweds,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He transfers his gaze to the blonde man beside his brother. His chest tightens at the glare Chanhee was giving him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If only Jaehyun wasn't scared of the backlash, of the disappointment, Chanhee wouldn't be sitting beside Juyeon. He would be with him. With Lee Jaehyun. If only Jaehyun didn't push Chanhee to his brother, maybe his story will get another ending. Most likely a happy one for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But who cares about his story? What matters more is that Juyeon gets his happily ever after. That he gets to spend the rest of his life being with someone he loves. That was Jaehyun's goal in life after all; to see his brother satisfied. If given the chance to rewind, he will still choose Juyeon's happiness over his.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hope you're satisfied</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the only message he can find in Chanhee's eyes. It's funny how Jaehyun can say the same thing to him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I hope you're satisfied marrying my brother just because you want to use him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Chanhee doesn't get to be his, but at least Jaehyun can sleep at night knowing that the person he loves isn't completely out of his life. He isn't satisfied with this arrangement, and he knows Chanhee isn't as well, but at least Juyeon is. This wedding is full of lies, but at least Juyeon is satisfied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The grip on the wine glass tightens.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"May you always be satisfied."</span>
</p>
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